Dear Di

Dear Di is the Fulcrum foremost expert in sexual relations
Tip number one: don't pull out your rainbow keyboard gaming laptop in public. Illustration: Christine Wang/Fulcrum
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Di provides a step-by-step guide on how to get laid when you’re a STEM major

Dear Di,

I’m in my second year of a STEM major at the University of Ottawa, and it feels like everyone else is getting laid but me. Do you have any tips to help me attract some cute engineering students my way?

-Virgin STEM Kid

Dear VSK, 

Here is a step by step guide to attracting more attention from possible suitors:

Step 1: Keep it clean

It’s super easy to get caught up in homework, projects, and gaming, and when it comes time to head out into the outside world, you might have completely overlooked one important detail: personal hygiene. When I say shower regularly, I don’t mean once a month, or once a week, I mean once a day. First impressions are important!  

Step 2: Smell the part

Similar to step one, you are going to want to present yourself in public in the best way possible, and this includes smelling your best. Applying deodorant after finishing with step one can make a huge improvement. If you want to get fancy, maybe throw on some cologne, but don’t drown yourself in it. Important note, step two is not a substitute for step one.

P.S: Also brush your teeth, smelly breath is an instant turn off.

Step 3: Personal Grooming

Surprisingly, I’m not talking about down there. I’m talking about your face, the one thing everyone sees when you’re out in public. While some people are perfectly capable of growing out a full beard, if you think you’re showing more skin than hair on your chin, I would recommend just keeping shaved. Some girls are into it, but some aren’t so try your luck. Another great tip is to get your hair cut regularly and put some effort into styling your hair.

Step 4: Dress for success

There’s nothing wrong with having those lazy days where all you want to do is throw on a pair of sweatpants and that old Tool T-shirt, I’m definitely guilty of this too. However, as with all of the previous steps, first impressions are huge when attracting a mate. I’m not saying you have to show up to all of your lectures in a suit and tie, but I am suggesting that you put in the effort to look nice. Maybe some jeans and a nice sweater since fall weather is coming. 

Step 5: Don’t wear your gaming headset in public

Maybe, you’ve come across a number of TikToks lately mocking STEM kids for either wearing a gaming headset in public or pulling the good ‘ole rainbow keyboard laptop out in class. Please do not bring these items in public, these TikToks serve as a public service announcement, these items are instant turn-offs for potential partners.

Step 6: Socialization

Now that you’re looking the part, go out there and show it off! If you don’t know where to start and want to stay within your comfort zone, you can attend different events related to your interests. That way, you’re bound to find somebody you can connect with through hobbies.

Overall, my biggest suggestion is to take care of yourself first. It’s hard to be attractive to others when you don’t feel confident in your own skin. Finding self-confidence is almost always a sure fire way to captivate the desired audience.