The Tomato

Weber returned to find his boxes on the curb. Photo: Rame Abdulkader.

Throws out roommate as he doesn’t “spark joy”

By now we’ve all seen, or at least heard about, the Netflix show taking the world by storm. Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, which premiered on New Year’s Day, has aimed to help people declutter and reorganize their spaces. Marie Kondo promotes keeping things that “spark joy” in your life, and giving away things that don’t, while still thanking them for serving their purpose.

After binge-watching all eight episodes of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, a third-year U of O student went on a cleaning-spree. But it seems that she’s taken Kondo’s advice a little too seriously.

Jane Drummond, the student in question, has been on a “rampage” according to her concerned roommates Kristopher Trent and Jennifer Fremont.

“Not only did she take all of her clothes out of her wardrobe and put them in a pile,  she went into our rooms and did the same! All of our clothes are in one big mountain in the living room,” explained Trent. “I can’t find any matching socks, and so far she’s not even organizing anything! It’s been two weeks, it’s starting to smell and I think there might be something living in the pile.”

“She donated like all of our forks and knives, which weren’t even hers,” added Fremont “All we have are teaspoons. Have you ever tried cutting steak with a teaspoon?”

“She also donated all of our cleaning supplies, my toothbrush (but not hers), our curtains, our couch that came with the apartment, and my Xbox 360.”

The Tomato also learned that one previous roommate, Jonathan Weber, had been thrown out of the apartment by Drummond, who claims he didn’t “spark joy”.

“He was just a real downer, it was time for him to go,” explains Drummond, “So I thanked him for serving his purpose as my roommate, and then hasta la vista!”

Weber states that he had never even talked to Drummond, and that one day he came home to all of his boxes sitting on the curb. In this cold weather, Weber is struggling to find sufficient shelter at such short notice.

Trent and Fremont are worried that they’ll be next.

Drummond is also facing academic probation after she threw out all of her textbooks and school supplies, turning up to her midterm without a pencil, or having studied.

“They just didn’t spark joy.” explains Drummond. “I didn’t need them cluttering up my life, or my desk.”