“Investing in Bitcoin is a perfect fit for the U of O and our stated principles,” said Frémont. “What could defy the conventional more than investing in the same thing as everyone else?”
The Tomato
While Canadians may be up in arms online around Tim Hortons’ response to the minimum wage hike, their response in person has been less than caffeinated.
On Sunday, Dec. 3, MTV aired the holiday special of their hit reality show Keeping Up with the Boardashians, following the antics of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO).
It’s now up to readers to decide if this valuable extension is worth possibly being out of the loop on the latest shitty news of the day.
The rest of the group members were so concerned upon hearing this that they thought he had been running from someone or was in danger. A search party involving Ottawa Police was launched, and Zee was eventually found in a park near campus.
Faculty and administration at the U of O have had mixed views on the student’s efforts. While the snow chains started as an attempt to save on maintenance costs throughout the winter, the administration is now trying to put a positive spin on this cost-saving measure.
In a confessional during the latest Boardashians episode, Trump said, “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m so popular!”
This phenomenon is spreading beyond just backpacks and has moved to other areas of students’ lives. This includes the inside of their clothes, and some pins have even been found in their beds between the sheets.
It appears that students are already buzzing with excitement following the implementation of fossil fuels around the U of O. Travanna Sawde, a fifth-year student at the Telfer School of Management told the Tomato, “With all these lights on, I’m finally able to find more study spaces around campus!”
To keep students unhappy, the administration has planned a series of ways to make U of O even more unbearable. Some of the proposed suggestions include eliminating the U-Pass, cancelling all snow removal policies, and beginning coal mining around campus.
The program is expected to produce two million Anne adherents, or “immigrants” on the island by the year 2030. The long term goal is to move the entire population of Canada to PEI, in order to create a country in the model of Anne.
In light of recent extreme weather, it is strongly recommended that students keep the following on hand: waterproof bags, rainwear, a canoe or kayak, an emergency generator, at least one week’s worth of non-perishable food, and a collection of inflatable toys that can be lashed together.
It started off with one student who returned to find an unusually large pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Other students have noticed that their furniture has been moved, some have reported their beds being shifted across the room or that a pile of clothes they left in the corner has disappeared.
Officials are working on mediating the conflict between the two sides, with City of Ottawa mayor Jim Watson sitting down with the leader of the Halloween decorations, Jack Skellington, and the mysterious leader of the Christmas decorations, known for wearing a red suit. Peace talks are scheduled to begin next week at city hall.
Students may appear to not be affected, but this virus can be deceiving, so take the utmost caution when leaving your apartments and visiting the other students. It is imperative that this virus is stopped and affected students are cleansed of the effects of this epidemic. Be safe, everyone, and be sure to protect yourself.
According to LeSwank, funding for season three of the show came from profits from the recent Everybody Hates Everybody (EHE) Festival. The festival featured a controversial “pay to play” policy, where the SFUO selected artists to perform based on how many tickets they could sell.
In a startling, albeit strategic move, Richard Benson, head coach of the University of Ottawa’s men’s football team elected to field 12 panda bears in this year’s edition of the annual Panda Game against Carleton University.
The still under construction STEM building collapsed last Tuesday because the design team overburdened the structure when they signed their names onto a supporting beam using extra thick Sharpie markers.
Go and enjoy cheap beers where you can, and if someone could spot the Tomato a threenie that’d be great.
Over the last six months, ARC has been testing out new developmental theories and applying them to real life test subjects, namely students at the U of O, in the hopes of quelling the growing threat of world domination by bulbous orange villains and climate change deniers.
Truly, as technology continues to improve, who knows what other jobs are at stake? If lamplighters and chimney sweeps are out of work then it’s only a matter of time before they’re joined by blacksmiths, cobblers and cattle rustlers.
Pumpkington is holding onto the hope that justice will come soon for her and her children. Businesses like Basic’s are helping out, but for now she must keep her young ones on a short vine as pumpkin spice season begins in earnest.
While the first day of school is now set to begin Sept. 13, students whose primary faculty buildings are affected by the construction will start their courses even later, at the end of September. This delay will result in classes continuing over the winter break, with exams taking place in early January.
It seems that much of the reaction stems from jealousy that older students don’t feel the same positive emotions.
From September 3-9, the university has placed a blanket ban on all music and dancing after 8 p.m., as well as a requirement that all students living on campus must be in their residences by 10 p.m. The administration claims this measure is needed to avoid complaints from Sandy Hill residents.
