Features

A student laments

 

‘Twas the week before Christmas

And all through the U of O

Every student was studying

Basking in their laptop screens’ glow

 

Their essays were written with the greatest of care

And they hoped their professors would overlook any errors

The professors were chained unhappily to their desks

While visions of tropical vacations danced in their heads

 

And my roommate in her sweatpants and I in mine too

Trudged to the library with our homework to do

The weight of our bags strapped to our backs

Made us wish we could destroy our textbooks with an axe

 

And then, as we walked,

I heard a student cry

“If I tell the school I’m dying, do you think they’ll believe my lie?”

I chuckled to myself and couldn’t help but smile

I’d been wondering the same thing for quite a while

 

We arrived at the library, ready to work

But soon found it was full of loudly talking jerks

My friend and I shrugged and decided it was time for a snack

So we headed to the bar to toss a few drinks back

 

Feeling refreshed and just a wee bit drunk

We knew we really had to study or else we would flunk

I opened my book and stared down at the prose

But I found myself yawning and felt my eyes start to close

 

I knew it was useless, I’d never remember

So I cursed the whole world and the month of December

I threw up my arms and stood up on my chair

And shouted to the rooftops without a single care

 

“First essays! Then midterms! Then projects galore!

Exams, group work, reading! And you know what’s more?

We have part-time jobs and significant others and friends

Why can’t exam season be over? I want the madness to end!”

 

I stopped my rant and looked all around

Everyone was staring, so I slowly sat down

Someone shouted, “Shut up, you moron. We’re trying to learn!”

I stared at my book and felt my cheeks start to burn

 

This time of year has gotten to me; I can’t deny it’s true

But if you’re a student, the same thing could happen to you

I really have to focus now, so I must say goodbye

Merry studying to all and to all a good night!

—Kristyn Filip