Starting this spring, local real estate agents will abandon their practice of selling houses and will focus most of their attention on selling holes in the ground instead.
The Tomato
Students who regularly pass through the University Centre (UCU) are still reeling from a violent brawl that resulted in more than a dozen injuries.
The roughhousing involved the various groups that normally use the large hallways of the UCU to practise their funky dance moves. Reports vary on what exactly triggered the incident, but several eyewitnesses claim it was caused by a turf dispute.
Despite their tendency for political repression and human rights violations, dictators have always taken the fashion world by storm.
Continuing budget issues have led to the cancellation of a long-time institution at the University of Ottawa.
The Society for Eating and Television (SEAT) has released new research showing that binge-watching Netflix while eating junk food is the best way to prevent a number of known physical ailments.
In a 500-page report titled “Staying Safe in a Cancerous World,” scientists have found an intrinsic link between cancer and literally every food, activity, and any other thing known to humanity.
As the year continues to unfold, students at the University of Ottawa are growing increasingly impatient with the lack of futuristic whimsy in their lives.
Beginning in March, anyone who uses the suffix in an article or social media post will be served a cease and desist letter by their Internet service provider.
When asked how he could possibly top the controversy associated with the “Animals” music video, Levine said he already has something in the works.
The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) has finally come into contact with the Internet.
Over the last couple of months, nationwide sales of “reverse” yoga pants have reached an all-time high. While they possess the same sporty quality of traditional athletic leggings, these new yoga pants are designed to make the wearer’s butt look as flat as possible.
Hundreds of University of Ottawa students have camped out on Parliament Hill over the last couple of days in the hopes of bringing about radical calendar reform.
In addition to putting a ban on age-inappropriate roles, from now on, actors will be required by law to take on roles that closely correspond to their gender, socioeconomic status, sexuality, and temporal designation.
According to the Fart-Free Ontario Act, anyone caught passing gas outside their own private residence—at restaurants, bar patios, playgrounds, sports fields, or inside any non-domestic building—will be subject to hefty fines and public shaming by local law enforcement
In a continuing effort to make the nation’s adult entertainment as bland and frigid as possible, British lawmakers have decided to forbid the act of touching in U.K. produced pornography.
Now that 3D has mostly exhausted its mainstream appeal in theatres, high profile movie directors are looking to adopt vertical video as the next big filmmaking gimmick.
An Interpol investigation has led to the arrest of the figure known as Santa Claus, who is now facing charges related to iden-tity fraud, among others.
After multiple incidences of students confusing the Faculty of Social Sciences (FSS) building with the restaurant Father and Sons (popularly known as F&S), the Coalition of Frustrated Students (CFS) has formed to advocate for a name change.
Students from the University of Ottawa are reacting to the recent change in season with shock and distress.
According to the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA), roughly 17,000 Canadians are due to immigrate to the United States in pursuit of the mythical American Netflix.
Recently, Sanrio, the company that manufactures Hello Kitty products, asserted that Hello Kitty is in fact a little girl, not a cat. This announcement has led to a wider discussion about the significance of Hello Kitty in our pop culture zeitgeist.
This year’s festivities have brought about controversy, as on-campus beard aficionados are butting heads with the U of O chapter of the United Pogonophobes Alliance (UPA). Pogonophobia is the scientific term for an extreme fear or hatred of beards. The UPA believes the Movember crowd is infringing upon the civil rights of local pogonophobes.
This week, Alex from Target is in the process of negotiating terms to star in three feature films for Sony Pictures and to become the face of a new line of corresponding merchandise.
Although many have already described Pitbull’s music as a cultural virus, that idea has taken on a whole new meaning after Apple decided to automatically add the rapper’s new album to iTunes.
The Fords’ recent election loss is expected to have a sizable negative impact on segments of Canada’s financial and cultural institutions.
