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Edits: Kim Wiens.

Dear Di’s guide to sexual harmony during exams

When exams roll around, a lot of us tend to put sex on the back burner until the smoke clears. Unfortunately, this is one of the worst things we could do, since frequent intercourse has so many benefits that may actually help you do better on your exams.

While stress negatively impacts our immune functions, sex produces immunoglobulin A, an antibody that can help fight off certain illnesses. Sex has also been known to boost your self-esteem, which can come in handy when you’re going into a real ball-breaking fourth year physics exam.

On top of that, sex is a natural painkiller, and a great way to release the tension from your muscles—a great antidote to sitting in a chair all day.

Lastly, many students suffer from insomnia during exam season, and a sultry roll in the hay can help regulate your internal clock and increase the production of chemicals that cause sleepiness.

Of course, you can’t completely ignore the responsibilities of school work in favour of more carnal desires. It’s probably in your best interest to balance both.

So here are a few ways to incorporate sex into your busy exam-time study schedule.

Library hanky panky

When you’re studying long, late hours in the library, take a quick break for a steamy make-out session with your partner in a dark corner or a secluded aisle. If you’re flying solo, why not head over to the washroom and rub one out yourself?

Incorporate sexual play into your study session

If you’re studying with a partner or a group of people, you can create fun, sexy games that will really test your knowledge of certain subjects. For instance, if you get one right answer you get a kiss. For your second correct response, you get a kiss somewhere else. If you ace the quiz with flying colours, then the clothes come flying off as well.

Memory tricks

Feeling tired of memorizing mundane facts? Spice it up by using sexual mnemonic devices to refresh your brain.

For instance, to use a classic example, you could try and better remember the names of North America’s great lakes (Superior, Michigan, Erie, Huron, and Ontario) by composing a sentence like “Sam Must Eat Harriet Out”.

Relate everything you’re studying with something that turns you on. During your exam you can more easily conjure images that help you remember. Just don’t get too lost in the fantasy!

Mobile fun

During exams it may be difficult to allocate some time for you and your partner to be in the same physical room together. But this is 2016, so don’t be afraid to call up your partner for some hot phone sex. Despite them not being physically present, I’m sure you’ll still feel the heat.

Good luck with your exams!

Love,

Di