Reading Time: 2 minutesAn unidentified offender known as the “uOttawa man-spreader” has been raising hairs and turning stomachs all around the University of Ottawa campus.
The tomato
Reading Time: 2 minutesWith warmer temperatures comes melting snow, and University of Ottawa students fear that formerly hidden dog poop may start stinking up their campus and blighting the bottom of their shoes.
Reading Time: 2 minutesStarting this spring, local real estate agents will abandon their practice of selling houses and will focus most of their attention on selling holes in the ground instead.
Reading Time: 2 minutesStudents who regularly pass through the University Centre (UCU) are still reeling from a violent brawl that resulted in more than a dozen injuries.
The roughhousing involved the various groups that normally use the large hallways of the UCU to practise their funky dance moves. Reports vary on what exactly triggered the incident, but several eyewitnesses claim it was caused by a turf dispute.
Reading Time: 3 minutesDespite their tendency for political repression and human rights violations, dictators have always taken the fashion world by storm.
Reading Time: 2 minutesContinuing budget issues have led to the cancellation of a long-time institution at the University of Ottawa.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Society for Eating and Television (SEAT) has released new research showing that binge-watching Netflix while eating junk food is the best way to prevent a number of known physical ailments.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a 500-page report titled “Staying Safe in a Cancerous World,” scientists have found an intrinsic link between cancer and literally every food, activity, and any other thing known to humanity.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAs the year continues to unfold, students at the University of Ottawa are growing increasingly impatient with the lack of futuristic whimsy in their lives.
Reading Time: 2 minutesBeginning in March, anyone who uses the suffix in an article or social media post will be served a cease and desist letter by their Internet service provider.
Reading Time: 2 minutesWhen asked how he could possibly top the controversy associated with the “Animals” music video, Levine said he already has something in the works.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) has finally come into contact with the Internet.
Reading Time: 2 minutesOver the last couple of months, nationwide sales of “reverse” yoga pants have reached an all-time high. While they possess the same sporty quality of traditional athletic leggings, these new yoga pants are designed to make the wearer’s butt look as flat as possible.
Reading Time: 2 minutesHundreds of University of Ottawa students have camped out on Parliament Hill over the last couple of days in the hopes of bringing about radical calendar reform.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn addition to putting a ban on age-inappropriate roles, from now on, actors will be required by law to take on roles that closely correspond to their gender, socioeconomic status, sexuality, and temporal designation.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAccording to the Fart-Free Ontario Act, anyone caught passing gas outside their own private residence—at restaurants, bar patios, playgrounds, sports fields, or inside any non-domestic building—will be subject to hefty fines and public shaming by local law enforcement
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a continuing effort to make the nation’s adult entertainment as bland and frigid as possible, British lawmakers have decided to forbid the act of touching in U.K. produced pornography.
Reading Time: 2 minutesNow that 3D has mostly exhausted its mainstream appeal in theatres, high profile movie directors are looking to adopt vertical video as the next big filmmaking gimmick.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAn Interpol investigation has led to the arrest of the figure known as Santa Claus, who is now facing charges related to iden-tity fraud, among others.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAfter multiple incidences of students confusing the Faculty of Social Sciences (FSS) building with the restaurant Father and Sons (popularly known as F&S), the Coalition of Frustrated Students (CFS) has formed to advocate for a name change.
Reading Time: 2 minutesStudents from the University of Ottawa are reacting to the recent change in season with shock and distress.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAccording to the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA), roughly 17,000 Canadians are due to immigrate to the United States in pursuit of the mythical American Netflix.
Reading Time: 2 minutesRecently, Sanrio, the company that manufactures Hello Kitty products, asserted that Hello Kitty is in fact a little girl, not a cat. This announcement has led to a wider discussion about the significance of Hello Kitty in our pop culture zeitgeist.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThis year’s festivities have brought about controversy, as on-campus beard aficionados are butting heads with the U of O chapter of the United Pogonophobes Alliance (UPA). Pogonophobia is the scientific term for an extreme fear or hatred of beards. The UPA believes the Movember crowd is infringing upon the civil rights of local pogonophobes.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThis week, Alex from Target is in the process of negotiating terms to star in three feature films for Sony Pictures and to become the face of a new line of corresponding merchandise.
