Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) has finally come into contact with the Internet.
The Tomato
Reading Time: 2 minutesOver the last couple of months, nationwide sales of “reverse” yoga pants have reached an all-time high. While they possess the same sporty quality of traditional athletic leggings, these new yoga pants are designed to make the wearer’s butt look as flat as possible.
Reading Time: 2 minutesHundreds of University of Ottawa students have camped out on Parliament Hill over the last couple of days in the hopes of bringing about radical calendar reform.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn addition to putting a ban on age-inappropriate roles, from now on, actors will be required by law to take on roles that closely correspond to their gender, socioeconomic status, sexuality, and temporal designation.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAccording to the Fart-Free Ontario Act, anyone caught passing gas outside their own private residence—at restaurants, bar patios, playgrounds, sports fields, or inside any non-domestic building—will be subject to hefty fines and public shaming by local law enforcement
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a continuing effort to make the nation’s adult entertainment as bland and frigid as possible, British lawmakers have decided to forbid the act of touching in U.K. produced pornography.
Reading Time: 2 minutesNow that 3D has mostly exhausted its mainstream appeal in theatres, high profile movie directors are looking to adopt vertical video as the next big filmmaking gimmick.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAn Interpol investigation has led to the arrest of the figure known as Santa Claus, who is now facing charges related to iden-tity fraud, among others.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAfter multiple incidences of students confusing the Faculty of Social Sciences (FSS) building with the restaurant Father and Sons (popularly known as F&S), the Coalition of Frustrated Students (CFS) has formed to advocate for a name change.
Reading Time: 2 minutesStudents from the University of Ottawa are reacting to the recent change in season with shock and distress.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAccording to the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA), roughly 17,000 Canadians are due to immigrate to the United States in pursuit of the mythical American Netflix.
Reading Time: 2 minutesRecently, Sanrio, the company that manufactures Hello Kitty products, asserted that Hello Kitty is in fact a little girl, not a cat. This announcement has led to a wider discussion about the significance of Hello Kitty in our pop culture zeitgeist.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThis year’s festivities have brought about controversy, as on-campus beard aficionados are butting heads with the U of O chapter of the United Pogonophobes Alliance (UPA). Pogonophobia is the scientific term for an extreme fear or hatred of beards. The UPA believes the Movember crowd is infringing upon the civil rights of local pogonophobes.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThis week, Alex from Target is in the process of negotiating terms to star in three feature films for Sony Pictures and to become the face of a new line of corresponding merchandise.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAlthough many have already described Pitbull’s music as a cultural virus, that idea has taken on a whole new meaning after Apple decided to automatically add the rapper’s new album to iTunes.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Fords’ recent election loss is expected to have a sizable negative impact on segments of Canada’s financial and cultural institutions.
Reading Time: 2 minutesPumpkin spice related debauchery has hit record levels at the University of Ottawa.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThanks to a new set of bylaws that were unanimously passed by city council this fall, police officers have been handing out fines, community service, and even jail time to those who sport costumes deemed lazy, douchey, or in very poor taste.
Reading Time: 2 minutesReading levels on campus reached a crisis point this past reading week, causing most University of Ottawa services to become overwhelmed.
Reading Time: 2 minutesA University of Ottawa student is attempting to break the world record for taking the greatest number of offensive selfies in the shortest amount of time.
Reading Time: 2 minutesTo combat the “Bendgate” controversy, Apple has decided to outright ban hipsters from buying the new iPhone 6.
Reading Time: 2 minutesWhat’s truly terrifying about haters is that they cannot be easily identified. They could be anywhere at any time. They could be delivering our mail, policing our streets, teaching our children, all the while spreading their hateful manifestos unexpectedly to innocent and undeserving celebrities.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a press conference, Mayor Jim Watson confirmed speculation that the Poop Fairy, a long-time City of Ottawa employee, is finally retiring.
Reading Time: 2 minutesStarting Monday, the traditional question-and-answer format of Question Period will be replaced by a question-and-question format.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe rapper has taken to social media to reveal more about the Nike-sponsored #YEEZUSWALKS campaign. The campaign will feature West making his way across the country this coming June in his signature Air Yeezy sneakers, using his newly honed healing powers to cure those with physical disabilities.
