Ottawa divided on new employment issue Illustration: Marta Kierkus A recently surfaced video showing a rat dragging a piece of pizza down a set of stairs on a New York City subway platform has ignited a new debate in the animal rights movement. Activists are demanding for the right to work to apply to rats too, …
Users revel in calling out friends and family on bullshit over social media Photo: Kim Wiens Since its creation in 2004, Facebook has introduced its users to a new platform of social sharing and launched Myspace into social obscurity. It has become part of a global phenomenon, helping you keep track of your friends, as …
Construction to begin on GOT style ice wall along 49th parallel Photo: Kim Wiens The Canadian government is set to unveil a new form of border protection after Republican candidates’ Scott Walker’s comments about possible terrorist threats entering the United States through Canada, and Donald Trump’s idea of a wall on the United States’ southern border. …
FSS construction site host of slew of surprises Photo: Kim Wiens A promotional picture for the new park being constructed on the University of Ottawa campus, showing what appears to be a student doing drugs among other things, has prompted the authorities to take a closer look at the picture. With the green space being …
The crew has now also stumbled upon old Gee-Gees and Raven‘s mascots fighting, the scene beautifully preserved in amber.
The Canadian Council for the Arts recently made the shocking announcement that they will begin openly endorsing and supporting the written works of YouTube commenters.
Mr. Swift’s proposed policy would make sure that future generations are free from past hindrances caused by such suspected autistic people as Beethoven, Mozart, Dickenson, Yeats, Einstein, Darwin, and Isaac Newton—all of whom contributed very little to the world, but who must have bothered people like this one pissed off mother with the “noise polluting whaling” they made.
“I mean, I could keeping going and get a doctorate or something—become a doctor of English and save people’s lives with my analysis of medieval literature,” Hayes said. “But I figured hey, if I’m going to be paying out my ass for tuition, I might as well learn and contribute something valuable to society.”
Allan Stone, the president of the university, believes these new regulations will enable students to relax more. “We were just tired of hearing so many complaints from students about how difficult their lives are in April, so we decided to change the whole basis for success at our school,” said Stone.
To prepare for the game of their lifetime, TuneSquad leader Bugs Bunny—alongside basketball superstar Jordan—coached the team from pitiful to kind of acceptable.
According to Oblak, he updated his Facebook profile multiple times over the weekend, taking care to craft elusive statuses that hinted at his popularity and newly adapted devil-may-care outlook.
“He’s already lied about his name,” Trump said, referring to the Pope’s birth name Jorge Mario Bergoglio. “We need to stand up and confront people in power—this Frank guy can’t be changing names and running religion without proving to the world and myself that he’s legit.”
“By election time in 2015 we will be the richest country in the world. Forget free health care, we’ll make like Oprah and give free money!” Flaherty continued.
“It’s hard being a student today. There are just way too many expenses, and scholarships and bursaries can be so fickle,” said Banks. “If only students could shift their energy into finding money instead of earning it, we’d have a lot less financially troubled students.”
“It’s a problem we all face time and time again: how do we protect ourselves from shade? It was clear to us that too much shade was being thrown. Good, honest, hardworking people needed a way to protect themselves, and the sun just wasn’t making the cut,” said Ali.
… somehow after four years, Johnson found herself almost $40,000 in debt. This tragedy has rocked our nation and has made headlines all over national news. In a brave and bold move, Johnson has granted the Fulcrum an interview to speak about her ordeal.
“After countless testimonies and much evidence from both schools, it became unquestionably obvious that the University of Ottawa was far greater than Carleton University. Ottawa U proved to be historically better in several critical categories, including the overall good looks of students, the quality of their taste in all things, and of course general cleanliness and smell.”
“At first, I held out hope. I thought, ‘Surely Beyoncé needs a fabulous weave and I’m pretty fabulous, so she’ll definitely come back.’ But she didn’t, and now I’m seeking compensation,” the weave continued.
“Their services just weren’t sustainable. They went out and bought a mahogany record player chest from Value Village, which we allowed because it only cost 25 bucks—but the thing used up the same amount of energy it takes to light the new FSS building,” said Cherdon.
“This new motto comes along with broad changes to our school that will reflect this strategy. We’re going to make these words tangible everywhere on campus.”
Allyson Harmon, a fourth-year communications student, is attempting to help students out with a new support club. The group aims to support students who have difficulty following their favourite TV shows while juggling school work.
