Reading Time: < 1 minuteCommission on Presidential Debates believes that hosting a live stream over the popular 2018 party game is the best depiction of democracy.
The Tomato
Reading Time: < 1 minuteLots of Ottawa residents have been making the most of the scattered electric scooters. But did one raccoon take it too far?
Reading Time: 2 minutesFull of charisma, enthusiasm, and great dance moves, team mascots always keep fans on their feet. They deserve a lot of thanks — and a name.
Reading Time: 2 minutesuOShow is the University of Ottawa’s annual concert to welcome in the new class of students. But this year’s headliner is unlike any other.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteTo motivate students, one theatre professor has made bubonic plague-era masks mandatory for all of her classes.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteTo make sure the results of their Kahoots! are legit, the UOSU has hired a friendly face for additional security.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteHere’s a meme about the LRT to get you over your case of the Mondays!
Reading Time: 2 minutesGraham wishes he hadn’t waited until the last minute to check up on this stuff, and regrets not paying more attention to prerequisites during his (admittedly wilder and more carefree) freshman years on campus.
Reading Time: 2 minutesRecently accepted to the University of Ottawa’s Faculty of Science to study animal behaviour, the McDonald’s raccoon landed on campus this Thursday to figure out if U of O campus life is a good fit for him. But the visit left the raccoon, and students, questioning whether the U of O is truly the caring and inclusive campus it claims to be.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Fulcrum is hoping its high praises result in an OSAP amount constituted of mostly grants — like many students, the Fulcrum has no idea how to repay the government loans.
Reading Time: 2 minutes“I mean, I’ve been studying environmental science for almost three years now, and I’ve never come across anything that suggested the possibility of ‘warm weather’ in this city. Maybe I’d be inclined to believe them if this were somewhere like Toronto, but everyone knows that Ottawa just doesn’t have a spring.”
Reading Time: < 1 minuteAnother student has died by suicide at the University of __________, reports student newspaper, The _________.
Reading Time: 2 minutesSince the eradication of pedestrian walk signal buttons from his ward, Menard has launched an attack on all buttons in general, with no trace of discrimination. The buttons on his office’s microwave, the buttons on all of his clothes, the buttons on his remote control, and the buttons on his home appliances, including his washer and dryer.
Reading Time: 2 minutesZuckerberg’s sample presentation featured fake news stories the Facebook team plans to promote this election cycle, including headlines such as “Trudeau Pressured Wilson-Raybould to Help Maple Syrup Industry” and “Andrew Scheer Literally Ate A Baby”.
Reading Time: 2 minutesCurrently, the SFUO is crashing on different friends’ couches and futons throughout the city until she can “get back on her feet.” According to one friend who wishes to remain anonymous, the SFUO is not a great roommate.
Reading Time: 2 minutes“It’s going to suck not being woken up to the sound of heavy machinery right outside my window,” claims Roberta Pebble, a second-floor resident of 90 University. “There’s really nothing like the sound of tons of gravel being poured on LRT track. I’ve grown to like it, I guess I’ll have to buy an alarm clock now.”
Reading Time: 2 minutes“I don’t want to go back to Ottawa, it’s cold, the dining hall food sucks, and I would have to get on a train for five hours. Back here, the fridge is fully stocked with stuff from Costco, my laundry gets folded and put away, and nothing has to ever change.”
Reading Time: 2 minutesA recent study led by University of Ottawa researcher Dr. Jarius Cross led to a shocking discovery. There was, collectively, zero reading done by U of O students during the winter semester reading week.
Reading Time: 3 minutesTo commemorate the end of an era, MTV brought on former SFUO presidential candidate Oprah to host a lookback special of some of the SFUO’s most cherished moments.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAccording to his roommates, Michael DiMarco had gone to Minto Sports Complex for an early morning workout and hadn’t returned.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAn independent investigation spurred by recent releases of Fyre Festival documentaries, has revealed that student unions were behind the whole thing. Samantha Odd and Angel Shawarma, the lead investigators, held a press conference earlier this week.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe challenge, which ran from Feb. 4 to 10, resulted in a higher lack of productivity than usual, with only three of 23 councillor seats occupied throughout the week. (Councillors who were not part of the challenge still used it as an excuse for their absences).
Reading Time: 2 minutesThere was no mistaking it for Betty DeGrudge when, on a blustery, snow-covered Thursday morning, she finished her long drive in from the outskirts of the city, crossing over the Laurier Avenue bridge and into University of Ottawa territory: students are such a pain-in-the-ass.
Reading Time: 2 minutesAfter binge-watching all eight episodes of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, a third-year U of O student went on a cleaning-spree. But it seems that she’s taken Kondo’s advice a little too seriously.
Jane Drummond, the student in question, has been on a “rampage” according to her concerned roommates Kristopher Trent and Jennifer Fremont.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn all my four years at this university not once has anyone mentioned the fact that we have a library! I’ve spent nights hunched over in dorm rooms, finishing essays by lamplight, paying for research from journals that I could have accessed for free?? I am livid.
